1. A conversation
2. A good feeling
3. At the time
4. Dreams and scale
5. An X
6. Bret
7. Gerrard
8. Knock on the floor
9. Matchboxes
10. New mix
11. Newspapers
12. Purple
13. Sebastian
14. Steve
15. Wisdom of gardens
16. What would it be
17. Dropping wine glasses
18. Two memories
19. The Ninja Tunes
20. When she agreed
21. Tattoos
22. Back in Joburg again
23. Wind
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This is when my two young cousins came to visit me from Israel. I was working at K
Plus and I started seeing her just two months ago. My writing was going well, better,
still moving forward. I was surrounded by the story of "Donny" in Douglas
Coupland's "Life After God". I went away with her family two weekends ago. I
wrote this on the wet part of the page from where I spilled some water. I know the
waitress here, her name is Joy.
I write about things that I love. To a greater or lesser degree. I do this because if I
never loved them I wouldn't bother. You forget this. You forget this about artists and
art. You gotta ask why these efforts are made. Even in hating. There must be
something you love, something worth preserving if you are going to write about it.
Like her clothes in my bedroom. Her necklace and the way the colours of the beads
match the colour of my walls. Or the way that makes me feel. These things are worth
preserving in the face of loss; change. I don't think I like thin girls too much
anymore.
And if I'm upset it's because I'm not loving something. And if I feel hatred, it's
because I'm not loving something.
"But then again" the black guy sitting next to me says to the waitress,
trynapickherup, "what would it be without you?"
"Joy-less" she said.
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